Make A BIGG WIDEE SMILEEE

starting time =11:38pm

i'm thinking, thinking real hard. Jus now on my trip from Khatib to Clarke Quay, then from Clarke Quay to Boon Lay, i've decided to write. Man, u can call me idiot, dumb, silly, bastard or anything u want.

Seriously, throughout all this years, i've grown a lot, and part of it is due to u. "Spiritual guys", i was thinking why dun i giv it one more shot, try it without quiting. And i did it, u're wow, powerful. And everytime during those times, u'll talk to me bout "how's your spiritual walk" i was er...well, not sure, but right now i'm doing well, helper + everything, and i know it's time for me to expand again. Thank u a million for now, i didn't regret that choice.

when a guy came, i always told myself positively, man, it's nth, it's up to u, it's ur choice, i believe in u, and everytime, maybe, it passed. But this time i dunno why, my confidence fail immediately, it was so different, i really dunno, i think for 1 day, useless, and it jus grew and grew. Wow,, i was wondering why this time i couldn't be positive? i was beaten i knew. Somehow beaten.

On 20/10/07, well~great day, cg send me wow, $40 voucher. Well, honestly saying, honestly saying, might jus as well giv me the gift enough, everything was half-hearted, i blamed myself, maybe i'm not very good, no fellowshipping with them. But again fine. I'm fine. I'm strong, one thing i'm proud of, dun really care what ppl think bout me. Then ur card...well no gift, i dun mind, seriously, i dun mind..ur card pulled me down straight down. Wa, no problem with it man, jus maybe well~wrong timing. Totally wrong timing, nvm, it passed. I stayed positive.

I ain't perfect, all ppl knew that, wa, communication SUCKS like wow, dunno wat? i was wondering again, how can this go on? I tried my best, do you know? I tried my best, but everytime a single" uh-huh. emmm. ok...yes, no" came back. Wa, like that...zzzz, my fault though, maybe at this area i failed.

Cool? If i have the chance of more freedom, i won't be starting now lo...start long ago lor...LONG LONG time ago lor. Thank GOD for now, my mum is more open. Today cg, went for makeup, cause i need rest at night, but now, I'm not slping. HAAs. dun feel like. It's early. The cg msg was good, friend, very good, friend. 2 things happened at cg which made me really "haha"

And i gonna announce this, Friends ROCKS.
If i'm insensitive, SORRY. SORRY and i know it ain't simple but seriously, SERIOUSLY, i can't take it anymore. I'm tired. Well, future will be decided by GOD, i've made my stand. U may still be the one. Slowly slowly

Thank u for all the memories, time, everything that went through, i've learnt a lot, a lot, alot...too much. Lots of things are not mentioned...and my bad, my worst, I'm sorry i ain't perfect but i know and I KNOW I TRIED MY BEST. Trust God. trust God, He's my all in all.

Msging with Viian, suddenly thought back bout my past, how i came in as one dumb fellow to now. Wow, changed so much, one thing i love most is right now, my parents, they are wowo, fantastic, marvellous now, they let me have one thing i always wish for, "FREEDOM". I've grew a lot, and i thank you ppl for trusting in me. I really miss the old days. And just now looking at the ping pong ball, i teared. I dunno why, but i know something touched my heart.

ending time =12:15am

alright, PLEASE STAY POSITIVE AND HAPPY.

" i dun care what people will say, i'm running after You"
GOD, i promise foreva i'll be running after You.